The Cycle of My Year

the patterned ebb and flow of my life as a food content creator

I skipped a week of posting here. I don’t know if anyone has noticed* but my hiatus was not intended. I try, and have been very good about doing for a while, to write a weekly newsletter. I have a whole spreadsheet outlining all the posts for the rest of the year, but lately I have just felt kinda…blahhhh. I am not really surprised though. This is how June and July often go for me. Not that anyone asked but here is how my year usually goes. Or, rather, how it has since I started on social media at the end of 2021.

*I don’t usually like when creators apologise for being gone for short periods of time. Like a month or more, yeah check in so people know you’re alive. But a week or two? Does anyone notice or care? There are a couple American creators I follow who apologise for taking very normal breaks. It drives me nuts. Once was like after they hadn’t posted for two weeks but it was the two weeks covering Christmas and New Years. Like babe, no one cares. Go live your life. Or when they apologise for lack of content because they have been on their honeymoon. Maybe it living in Sweden and getting used to have 5 weeks of paid time off a year but again. Babe. Go live your life.

That being said I wanted to write about my yearly cycle as an explanation. Maybe it’s an excuse. Maybe it’ll resonate with someone. Just know that more recipes are coming, more cool things, but those things take time and while I am getting there, I am not quite there yet. Hopefully by the end of the post you’ll understand where I am coming from and where I going. I truly appreciate every single person who reads this newsletter. ❤️

MY YEARLY CYCLE

January - I am so m*****f***ing tired. It is dark and it is cold and I am going to Los Angeles because I just can’t be in Stockholm. I am trying to work, trying to accomplish goals, it is the new year after all, new year new me, resolutions, etc etc but Jesus H. Christ I just can’t seem to get anything done.

February - I have a plan. I started said plan in January. It was a good plan. A plan based off the end of last year and I am excited about it. However nothing seems to be getting done. I am usually still in California because I hate February in Stockholm. It is by far the worst month of the whole year to be there, it’s so dreary and everyone is depressed and miserable and doesn’t want to hang out. Neither do I. Whether I am in California or Sweden I tend to be having an existential crisis by February. Nothing I am doing is working or I am not working enough and I suck and everything sucks and is this year already wasted???

March - My birthday month. Finally things are starting to get better. I am for sure back in Sweden by this time, birthday content always does well, I have completely rewritten my plan for the year, and things are feeling better.

April and May - How are these months so incredibly long?? They can be nice because the weather is nicer but spring is my least favourite season. You might not have guessed that after I just complained about winter so much but I find spring to be so long and so gray. The pretty new-green-things-first-flowers spring that everyone likes so much don’t come to Sweden until like May. April can be a slog. I am doing my new plan, I have some successes and I am desperately trying to get the ball rolling before summer hits. I somehow never make any content about Easter. However I am usually posting really consistently at this time of year and my analytics are good. I am mildly content but looking forward to summer and fall. I am convinced this is the summer I will live a dreamy Pinterest style life so I write an elaborate bucket list and plan to take a lot of time off.

Beginning to Mid June - Summer is here! The weather is beautiful and wow wow wow are there a lot of parties and fun things for me to attend. So, obviously, I am STRESSED. So much needs to happen before the midsommar celebrations really kick off. Content is going well and I am desperately trying to capitalise on midsommar content because it always does well for me. It was vlogging midsommar that kick started my tiktok channel. But with all the fun comes less time to work and I feel guilty about not sticking to my overly ambitious posting schedule.

Late June to Beginning of July (we are here📍) - I have fully lost it. I cannot make content. Partly because I wish I could have a real summer break. The ones we used to have as kids, long unending warm days, nothing to do but read and lounge and watch tv and eat as many popsicles as possible. Mostly, however, I don’t make content because somehow July always becomes recipe testing month. All the time I blocked for summer fun gets filled with testing. There is no other time available and these recipes must get done. So I don’t make content and I don’t post and I test test test and I look forward to be actually productive one day again (because testing 3-5 recipes a day is not productive to me apparently).

Mid to Late July - I legitimately cannot stand myself or how lazy I am. It’s hot. The sun hurts my eyes. I begin to “practice” my routines for the fall so that by the time August hits I have worked out the kinks in my systems. Very little content is being posted. I am restless yet tired. Bored. Summer content convinces me I should be vacationing and taking it easy but all I want to do is work. I love working.

August - I AM REBORN! This is it boys and girls!! The very beginning of the very best part of the year!!! It is still hot, the sun still hurts my eyes but it is getting darker day by day and I am LOCKED IN. The schedules and the spreadsheets and the systems have all been set up and are in motion and I can enjoy the last bits of summer because finally I am living up to my potential and therefore I am loving life.

September and October - I am truly living my best life. I am working my ass off and loving every single second of it. The world is beautiful, all golden oranges and reds, the breeze is cool on my face and I am producing excellent work that I am proud of! Things are going so well! This is the feeling I have been searching for all year!! Why can’t I feel like this is April and May?? But I don’t care because this year I have finally figured it out! I am already planning next year’s systems so that I can feel like this all the time!!

November - Alright I am getting a little tired but things are going so so well and this is crunch time! This is it! The biggest baking months of the year are now upon us and I need to capitalise on this moment. Thanksgiving content always goes bananas so I need to lock in, keep going, keep grinding. My friendsgiving party is an always one of the absolute best days of my year and I am so excited for it even though, but also because, it takes so much time and energy.

Beginning to Mid December - Last spurt, keep running, keep going, all the systems have paid off and everything has gone so well and I need to just keep it up until Christmas.

Late December - Christmas was lovely and now I am done done done. Done with the year, done with filming and editing and posting. I just want to rest. Just for a minute. But I am so excited because I have finally figured out systems that work for me which I will take into the new year. I already have some many ideas and ambitious plans for Q1! Next year will be different. I swear.

This is the loop I have been in for the last couple years. It took me a while to notice the pattern. I fight it every step of the way (except for fall of course because that is when I am happiest) but recognising it has also helped me accept it. I am less worried in the Spring because I know I always do well in the Fall.

This year, so far, is following the same pattern. While many good things have happened, I don’t really feel like myself in the first half of the year. I try, I do! But there is just something about the last half year that has everything clicking into place.

I have so so many fun things planned. So much content, so much baking. New, bigger, even more ambitious projects. I am so excited for all the things coming up. But right now it is late June. So I am having a hard time. I don’t feel like posting anything. I have no recipes to share, no f***s to give. I am testing like mad and spending most of my creative energy trying to get recipes locked and loaded. I wasn’t even supposed to be writing about my year, I was supposed to be writing up a travel guide to Valencia, Spain. Axel and I went a couple weeks ago and people were asking for restaurant recommendations. I have them but I just can’t write them up right now. Sorry but I just don’t care. Give me another week. Or maybe two. I don’t know. I’ll get there eventually.

xoxo,

Cecilia